I love them both

I love them both, can’t have them both.
It’s tearing me apart!
My former joy and present boy:
Both have got my heart.

I have to choose, so I must lose
Someone I really love.
It feels like dirt that I must hurt
A guy that I dream of.

Why this must be I cannot see;
I only know I must.
Each might endure, for I am sure
That this is love, not lust.

I weep and wail to no avail;
I can’t say no to either.
But if I can’t tell what I want,
Could that mean I want neither?